Back In The World Again.

Two weeks into a new adventure may be a bit premature to sit and write out thoughts and feelings about how my life has changed in that time, but I’ve decided I’m going to do it anyways…

Two weeks ago today, I signed off as the Compliance & Legal Services Manager of my longtime employer for the last time.  For years, I truly thought I would spend the rest of my career there, especially after making the decision to move and begin working from home full-time.  The freedom!  The flexibility!  Lunch hours by the pool!  Being at home when my little one gets off the bus!  What could be better?  So far, the last two weeks has taught me that a lot can be better…

1. These shoes were made for walking outside of my condo.  Giving more of a s&*t about getting ready each morning has led to a euphoria I didn’t really expect.  I do love clothes and fashion and I love it for more than the vanity aspect.  I love how I physically feel when I put effort into my appearance and I know my energy changes.  Feeling better about myself can only be a positive thing.

2. People are people.  And I am a person who feels better around people.  When I first started working from home three and a half years ago, it was for my boss of many years and with a team who felt more like family than co-workers.  Case in point, my work BFF and my former boss are my son’s godparents.  But things change… companies are acquired and people leave and soon, I felt isolated and lonely in my day-to-day work dealings.  I didn’t realize until I was back in an office environment again just how much that feeling of isolation and loneliness was hurting my spirit.  And now that I have time with people at work combined with alone time on the nights my little one is with his dad, I feel more balanced than I have in years.

3. This cook is back in the kitchen.  Chocolate chip raspberry bars… vanilla cupcakes with buttercream frosting… hash brown casserole.  Marriage and a bunch of (or more than one) kids did not happen for me (at least, not yet), but I am in heaven when I am in a kitchen throwing stuff together and making food for people to enjoy.  I’m pretty sure everyone at work is convinced I’m brownnosing and doing it for the accolades and the love (which may have some merit), but the truth is I just love feeding people.  A good friend of mine (who I met because she was feeding me at a yoga retreat) once so perfectly stated, “my favorite moment after I cook for people is when they’re eating and it’s completely silent as they enjoy what I made for them.”

4. The desire for positive feedback does not make you greedy.  I’ve spent hours, days, months these past few years being my number one fan and I’ve gotten really good at it.  I am not nearly as hard on myself as I used to be and I’m the first person to recognize my strengths and victories while being mindful of areas where I need to improve.  Regardless, when you work with a team that is supportive of each other and you hear the words, “we’re happy you’re here,” (and it’s not only in reference to your hash brown casserole), it’s meaningful and it’s okay to feel good about that.

5. Always, always, always trust your gut.  I was not looking for a job change.  I’ve responded to a few recruiters the last few years, submitted a couple of resumes and even went on an interview.  But I never had THAT feeling.  I remember going on an interview in the summer and sitting in the quietest office with a woman I couldn’t imagine working for, leaving there and thinking – no.  I remember feeling so peaceful that I was able to walk away from an opportunity that didn’t suit me and not think for a second that I wasn’t good enough for that job.  I also remember feeling grateful that I wasn’t in a dire financial situation where I had to take a job I may not want.

This time was different.  When I responded to the initial email, updated and forwarded my resume and a summary of my experience and then started the interview process, it felt different from the get-go.  I wanted this job.  I wanted to work for this company.  And even when I gave notice at my old job and they tried to negotiate to get me to stay, I knew where I wanted to be.  That knowing made me feel so strong and yes, even a little powerful.  But above  that, it made me feel thrilled that I was so in touch with my intuition.

So here’s to the first two weeks of a new adventure.  Two weeks of meeting new people, learning new things, and baking and dressing up.  Two weeks of my son incredibly enjoying his new afterschool caretaker and the big hugs I get from him when I get home at night.  Two weeks of waking up each morning excited about what I’m doing and where I’m going.

Two weeks of feeling like I’m the best Jenny I’ve been in awhile.  May it last at least another two weeks.